We say "It's just another day",
Or "Yeah this is the norm",
We tend to think that things will stay,
The same forever more.
The days go by, then weeks, then months,
And She storms in to speak at once,
Her majesty the Queen.
Her name is Change, she gets no "likes",
She's welcomed, but with force,
She's tolerated when she strikes,
Her ways are brazen, coarse.
She's not attractive, nor she's warm,
But powerful and strong,
She is uncomfortable at first,
She feels like something's wrong.
But those who face her and with grace,
She'll grant them her respect
For if you're in to run the race,
Your winning she'll expect.
TALKING TO MYSELF (2009)
My sadness creeps in
"She" becomes my best friend
I'm running from "her"
"She" sucks me in like quick sand
& broken I feel
As sadness gets comfy
and makes "her move in".
Although I am fighting
And tell her to leave
The bitch is so stubborn,
Persistent - won't give!
I'm trying to level with "her" on "her" terms
I'm letting her "speak" as I listen intently
I really don't like all the things she confirms
The truth that she's making me face oh so gently.
She smiles at me when I'm craving to shout!
She winks with such pleasure on my great despair,
She's setting the stage for confusion & doubt,
She is loading my mind with much more than it's fair.
I battle with her as I know I'm much stronger
I won't let her settle without my contempt
But battles become only longer and longer
It's less I accomplish, the more I attempt.
What do I provide to make her stay worthwhile?
What is it she finds so becoming of me?
How dare did she find me and hidden my smile?
How long will she stay, and will she ever leave?!
"Become understanding" - I often will tell me
"Just give it some time, this too, dear, shall pass"
"You're strong & you know it!" - I often will hear me
But am I? But will it? Where is my forecast?!
A long & dark tunnel with light at the end...
Or head above water, or making it work...
My fire is ultimate light in the tunnel
My will is my floater, my word is my fork
For desperate times we take desperate measures
There are who receive and then those who will give
I suffer from giving the ultimate pleasures
To those who are starving for years to receive.
“Stability”, “comfort”, “at ease” and “with peace” –
Those meanings are foreign to where I exist.
But “struggle” and “patience”, and “hope” and “desire” –
They are “second nature”, no need to inquire.
A heartache that’s constantly masked with a smile
That is where my comfort’s residing full time.
I cover it daily with confidence, while
I’m looking for sense of arrival of mine.
There’s good and there’s bad, there’s right and there’s wrong
I’m striving my best to accomplish consistence
My 90% can be positive, strong
The small 10% overshadows all persistence!
I must find myself, must reclaim my existence
Must work even harder to keep staying strong
I will break thru all of life’s major resistance
And I will arrive to where I will belong!